Collection of resume blunders

From: Readers Digest, June 2009

"Dear Sir or Madman":

"I am sure you have looked through several resumes with the same information about work experience,education,and references.I am not going to give you any of that stuff."

"I would love to interview for the position of (insert job title here).If you grant me an interview of (insert job title here),I feel confident you'll see why I'm the right person for the job." "My mother delivered me without anesthesia so I have an IQ of 146 and therefore can learn anything."

"I enjoy working closely with customers,and my pleasant demeanor helps them feel comfortable and relaxed- not afraid.""I realize that my total lack of appropriate experience may concern those considering me for employment." But "I have integrity,so I will not steal office supplies and take them home."

"Please don't regard my 14 position as job-hopping.I never once quit a job." "They stopped paying me". "In my next life,I will be a professional backup dancer or a rabbi," but for now "I am attacking my resume for you to review." "I realize that my resume is no longer exemplary thanks to my family destroying the computer file." Nevertheless, "here are my qualifications for you to overlook."

'Thank you for your considerations.Hope to hear from you shorty!"


Sincerely,

Hapless Job Seeker